He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
