We won't sleep together?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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