very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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