whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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