what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
