i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
