Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
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