very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
