Walk of Shame. In a state park.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
