If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
