DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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