I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
