Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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