Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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