All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
