There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
