Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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