Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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