How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just gargled with NyQuil
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
