I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We have started to decorate penises.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
