420 ftw
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
