I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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