So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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