I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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