He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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