Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize