your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
