I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
