i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize