Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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