the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
