Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
