if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
