I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
