Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
