I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
