i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
