Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
