what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
