getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
