I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You've changed since you got that strap on
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
