You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
