Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
