see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
