I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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