So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
