I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
