actually, I'm a sock model
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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