i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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