I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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