is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
