Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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