Im at strip club and am horny
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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