i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
