Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
