We're facebook friends in real life
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
