weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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