i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
that may or may not have been my penis.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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