my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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