im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
