Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
