Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
