sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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