so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
