apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize