so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
