No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Drunk is not a location!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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